


coming up roses

by minami_meri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Haikyuu Captains, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining Kuroo Tetsurou, Slow To Update, University AU, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28449339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minami_meri/pseuds/minami_meri
Summary: Sawamura opens his eyes, looking up at Kuroo. He blinks at him in surprise at their proximity. “Sorry.” He mumbles.Kuroo plasters a grin on his face like a mask to not appear flustered. “I wouldn’t want you to pass out and fall to the ground.”Sawamura chuckles, stepping back and turning to where Oikawa is now yelling at them to get into the car. “I suppose you’re more comfortable than the cold, solid ground.”Kuroo laughs lightly, following him. “I am.”I could be so much more too.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 20
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my love letter to kurodai <3

“Were you with Terushima last night?” Kuroo hears Oikawa ask casually. 

“Yes.” Sawamura answers. 

Kuroo’s stomach lurches. 

“You went on a date with Terushima?” Ushijima sits directly behind Kuroo, and he is glad that he had pulled his hood up when he first saw the group enter, and if he keeps ducking his head, he will be hidden by the expanse of Ushijima’s upper body. 

“Yes.”

“Did the date go well?” Oikawa asks, pushing for details. He has to, he had made eye contact with Kuroo when they first entered and knows he’s there– and Oikawa knows about his _Daichi situation_. The amount of embarrassing things he has done for and because of Sawamura in front of Oikawa is enough blackmail for a lifetime. He curses his drunk self for agreeing to be roommates with Oikawa, making him privy to his pain and pining. 

“It was nice.” Sawamura chews on his food. “We had dinner and then we walked and he showed me a music store he likes.”

“What?” Bokuto finally returns from the bathroom. Kuroo is lucky that the bathroom is in the other direction, it would not be good if Bokuto, who speaks before he thinks and _loudly_ , saw him eavesdropping on their conversation. 

“Remember that guy, the one in a band, with the dyed hair and piercings that we met at the club?” Oikawa quickly catches Bokuto up. 

“Not really.” Bokuto shrugs. 

“Anyway.” Oikawa doesn’t bother with details with Bokuto’s awful memory. “Sawamura went on a date with him last night.”

Sawamura sighs. “I’m right here, you know.”

Bokuto flops into his seat, making the chair screech. It’s a lost noise in the bustling restaurant, people are talking over one another, and the cook and hosts are calling orders and serving tables. “So, how’d it go?” 

“It was nice.” Sawamura says in a neutral tone. 

“Nice?” Oikawa asks. 

“He was nice.”

“Just nice?” 

“He bought me a CD.”

“That’s cool.” Bokuto says. “You say we met him at the club? I don’t remember how he looks.”

“Here!” Oikawa says exasperatedly, showing a picture on his phone. Hopefully from social media, and not the pictures Kuroo screenshotted while he was doing a “background check” to see what Terushima’s deal with Sawamura was. 

“He’s also my neighbour.” Ushijima adds. “Is that why I saw you last night, Sawamura?”

Oikawa inhales sharply. “What?”

Kuroo jolts, shaking the table and almost knocking over his glass of water. He connects the dots in his head quickly. Ushijima is neighbours with Terushima, meaning they live in a different neighbourhood from where Sawamura lives with Bokuto. If Ushijima saw Sawamura, he did not go home last night. 

“ _No._ ” He mumbles in shock. 

“What?” Beside him, Kita speaks up. 

Kuroo had almost forgotten that the reason why he was in this restaurant in the first place was because he came with his co-worker to have dinner. Then the other group walked in, Kuroo panicked when he saw Sawamura, and when Kita asked him why he put his jacket on, he lied and said he felt cold even though the small restaurant was full of people and he could feel the heat of his food on his face. 

“Did you say something?” 

“Nothing.” He replies, voice strained.

“Oh yeah!” Bokuto practically yells. Kuroo winces and clenches his fists. Even if he wasn’t purposefully listening to their conversation, anyone would be able to hear what they were talking about because of Bokuto’s booming voice. Or maybe it’s a good thing because he can’t really hear himself with how loud his heart is pounding now. “I remember that guy!”

“What?” Oikawa repeats, even sounding a little desperate for Kuroo’s sake. Although he teases about Sawamura to Kuroo’s chagrin, Oikawa wants nothing more than Kuroo to stop pining and finally confess instead of complaining to him all the time. 

“I went home with him.”

“You what–”

“Daichi, you animal!” Bokuto interjects. “On the first date?”

He hears laughter being stifled and turns to peer at Kita. A rare smile appears on his face. “I know it’s rude, but that sounds like an interesting conversation.” 

Great, now Kita is listening. 

Internally, Kuroo is screaming. 

Bokuto cheers, calling out to the hostess for more beer. “Congratulations, Daichi!” 

“Be quiet!” Sawamura scolds. 

The hostess glides past Kuroo to attend to their table. Bokuto rattles off their order, “Ushijima, what do you want? Oikawa’s paying!”

“I am not.” Oikawa says defiantly. “Bokkun!” 

“You said you would take care of the bill!” 

“I did not!”

Ushijima ignores them. “You went home with him?” He asks Sawamura.

Before he can answer, there is a scuffling noise and Oikawa yelps.

“Give me back my phone!”

“Wow, he has a tongue piercing!” Bokuto says deviously, and Kuroo wants to _hit_ him. “You know what those–”

“My phone!”

Sawamura coughs to get their attention. “Bokuto give Oikawa his phone–”

“And a tattoo! Sawamura, did you get a look at this one? It’s on his back–”

“Stop!” 

More scuffling, chairs screech, Kuroo can feel the wind from where Oikawa flails to retrieve his phone and the dodging of Bokuto as he laughs manically. 

Annoyance creeps into Sawamura’s voice.“Will you stop? The both of you– Bokuto give it back to him–”

Oikawa scolds, slamming his hand on their table. “Don’t take my phone.”

“You are acting like children.” Ushijima says it like a casual observance. 

“Oh, I locked it.” Bokuto says, and Kuroo thinks Oikawa finally manages to snag it. 

They both pant. 

“Okay, that’s _enough_ .” Something dark creeps into Sawamura’s voice. “Will you all be quiet and not cause a scene, _or else_.” 

The threat hangs in the air and silence falls on their table. 

“So, how was it?” Bokuto says after a few seconds, blissfully unaware of the awkward tension filling the air. 

“How was what?” 

“Terushima!” Bokuto says too cheerfully. Kuroo makes a note to speak with him later. 

“ _What_?” Sawamura asks, exasperated. 

“Was he good?”

“ _Good_ ?” Sawamura questions. Oh, so oblivious and _dense_ that it drives Kuroo crazy. “Um, is there something that I’m not getting?” 

“Oh for god’s sake–” Oikawa starts.

“I think we should not judge him for his decisions.” Ushijima says, monotone as always. “If Sawamura goes home with someone, I do not believe it is our business.” 

Sawamura makes a choked noise. 

“For the record, I do not find anything wrong with having sex on the first date.” Ushijima continues. Ushijima’s opinion is surprising to Kuroo, who thinks of him as very traditional and conservative, but it does _not_ help the pounding in his head and feeling that his stomach has dropped to the floor. All of a sudden, the food doesn’t look very appetising. 

Kuroo can _feel_ Oikawa’s quick glance at him. “Okay, Ushiwaka, let’s not say it like that.” 

“Hookups are very common for people our age. As long as you are safe and protected–”

“ _Ushiwaka_.” Oikawa hisses.

Kuroo feels like he’s going to faint. 

  
  


x

  
  


“Sawamura?” A blond with piercings approaches their table. 

“Do I know you?” Sawamura raises a brow, and Kuroo almost lets out a sigh in relief. 

“We met at Futakuchi’s party a few weeks ago.”

“Oh.” Sawamura looks embarrassed. “Sorry, I don’t remember.”

“It’s all right. It was a brief introduction.” The blond’s grin turns sly. “But I haven’t forgotten those eyes of yours. Want to dance?”

Sawamura shakes his head vehemently. “No, no– I don’t dance–”

“I’ll help you then.” Terushima’s grin doesn’t falter, and reaches for his wrist. Kuroo zeroes in where Terushima’s fingers curl around the other’s skin. His eyes probably scream bloody murder. 

Kuroo cannot believe that Sawamura glances at him briefly, looking unsure, before Terushima tugs lightly on his arm. “Come on.” He smirks. “Just one dance.”

Sawamura looks at him again, but Kuroo doesn’t do anything, and then he is left behind while Sawamura gets swept away.

“At least _he_ is bold enough.” 

Kuroo turns to see Oikawa and Bokuto standing a short distance from him. 

Bokuto looks at him mournfully and offers him a drink. Oikawa glares at him pointedly. 

Kuroo accepts the drink. 

Later, as they leave the club, Kuroo sees Terushima hand Sawamura a slip of paper.

Bokuto is completely drunk, leaning against the building trying to stay awake. Ushijima stands next to him, the only sign that he is inebriated is the pink flush on his face. Oikawa is trying to get them a taxi, alcohol makes him louder and bolder so the rest of them let him embarrass himself. 

For once, Kuroo is not as drunk as the rest of his friends despite the pity drinking he had done when Sawamura split from their group. They realised his moping was not going to let him have fun, so the others let loose. 

As for Sawamura, Kuroo sighs and looks down at him resting his head on his shoulder. Their backs are to the cold exterior of the club, music pulsing from within, but Sawamura has always been able to sleep easily. Unlike Kuroo, though ever since he realised his feelings, his lack of sleep is due to thinking about Sawamura. 

Kuroo sighs again, shifting so that Sawamura is more comfortable. His breath fans along the exposed skin of his neck and he shivers nervously. 

When Oikawa finally manages to get a taxi, he feels bad for waking him.

Sawamura opens his eyes, looking up at Kuroo. He blinks at him in surprise at their proximity. “Sorry.” He mumbles. 

Kuroo plasters a grin on his face like a mask to not appear flustered. “I wouldn’t want you to pass out and fall to the ground.”

Sawamura chuckles, stepping back and turning to where Oikawa is now yelling at them to get into the car. “I suppose you’re more comfortable than the cold, solid ground.”

Kuroo laughs lightly, following him. “I am.” 

  
_I could be so much more too_.


	2. Chapter 2

“I cannot believe that you just said that.” Oikawa sounds pained. 

“I said there is nothing wrong with–”

“We  _ know _ . We heard you.”

“Okay.” Sawamura’s voice is controlled, and he is finally catching up with what the others are saying. “Is there something wrong?”

A brief pause, and Oikawa scrambles to redirect the conversation. “Nothing’s wrong, why would anything be wrong?” He says too hurriedly to be innocent.

“You never cared about my personal life before, why are you all so interested now?”

Oikawa sighs with the weight of having to be the main witness to one year’s worth of Kuroo pining, but before anyone can continue, the host brings them their food.

Beside him, Kita is halfway finished with his bowl– and so is he, he notices, but he has been shovelling food into his mouth without any care while he listens– and the dawning realisation that they will have to leave soon fills him with dread. 

He has to leave without being seen or he can never face Sawamura with dignity again. The others too, but maybe just Ushijima, he thinks of Oikawa as his co-conspirator and he’s still a little irritated at Bokuto. _Traitor,_ _I thought you were on my side_. 

“Have you gone to this restaurant before?” Kita asks, and Kuroo wills him to eat more slowly. 

“A few times.” He replies. “It’s cheap, and not too far from my apartment.” What he doesn’t say is that this is his and his friends favourite spot, and that they come regularly because of convenience, and now, maybe sentimentality. It’s where he first really talked to Sawamura too, after being introduced to by Bokuto as his new roommate, and they all ate here to celebrate the beginning of their last year in university. 

The last time he was here was probably right before they went to the club. It was their last big outing for a while because they were all about to be swept up by exams, projects, their current part-time jobs, and the continuous job searching and resume writing for prospective post-graduation jobs.

Kuroo had come with Sawamura, running into him as he left his last class and Sawamura had just finished his shift at the library. He still doesn’t believe he mustered the courage to ask him if he would like to have dinner, but he knows Sawamura just thought of it as a meal between two friends.

Now that he’s here again, and reminded of his inability to confess because Sawamura has already been on a date with someone he just met less than a month ago, Kuroo’s heart sinks just a bit more. 

“It’s not that we don’t care about your personal life, Daichi.” Oikawa says, earnestly. “It’s just that, this tongue piercing guy seems a bit...”

“A bit what?”

“I’m not questioning your taste– or maybe I do–” Oikawa mutters under his breath. 

“I heard that.”

“Well– oh, I don’t know. I give up.” Oikawa sighs. 

“He seems cool.” Bokuto says, swallowing a mouth full of food. “But about your personal life– I didn’t think you were looking to date. So I never questioned it.”

“As I said before–”

“Watch your mouth, Ushiwaka.”

“–As I said before.” He says drily. “I do not believe it is our business.”

“Well thanks, Ushijima.” Sawamura says sarcastically. 

“I mean it, but I am also quite surprised. I did not know you enjoyed those things.”

“Those things?” Sawamura asks pointedly. 

“ _ I swear to god _ .” Oikawa curses. 

Kuroo really wants to disappear. 

“Have you finished yet?” Kita’s bowl is empty, and he places his utensils neatly on the table. 

Oh no. “I– um, almost.”

“No worries.” He says.

“Just give me a second.” He says. Quickly, he pulls out his phone and texts Oikawa and then proceeds to scarf down the rest of his food. 

_ Help me. I have to leave.  _

_ How am I supposed to distract, Sawamura? He’s already eating. You know how he is when he eats.  _

_ I just need ten seconds. Do something. Please.  _

He is about to get up when he hears something. 

“It’s because you’re always with Kuroo.” Bokuto says, chewing. 

“Kuroo?” He loves it whenever Sawamura says his name, but now it pains him. 

“Kuroo?” Oikawa sounds nervous. 

“Kuroo?” Ushijima asks, curious. 

“Kuroo?” Kita says, surprised.  _ Oh god _ , he’s still listening too. 

“Kita-san, this may sound very odd, but may I please borrow your sunglasses?”

Kita, bless him, does not question him and hands them over. 

“Yeah, Kuroo.” Bokuto continues. “You’re always together. You invite him to the apartment, he stays and helps cook dinner. You watch movies sometimes after, and he walks you to work.” Bokuto’s voice sounds suspicious. “Hey, Sawamura.”

“Yes?” Sawamura’s voice comes out just slightly higher. 

“You’re not looking for a new roommate, right?”

Kuroo closes his eyes and wills down the urge to turn around and reach across the table and smack Bokuto upside the head. He  _ really _ needs to talk to him.

“No, I’m not.”

“If you want to move in with Kuroo, maybe me and Oikawa can work something out.”

“Absolutely  _ not _ . I do not have the patience to deal with you.” 

“It makes sense, though. Kuroo and Sawamura are like a married couple. Of course you would want to move in together.”

“How do you know what Kuroo even thinks?” Oikawa raises his voice in desperation. “You can’t even read the situation as it is!”

“What situation?”

“Bokuto, if you keep talking–”

“So I assumed you weren’t dating because you liked Kuroo.” 

Everyone falls silent after that. 

Kuroo’s heart misses a beat. 

Then, in a guarded tone, Sawamura says. “All right, how about we stop talking about me for the rest of the evening.” 

“I mean, I don’t think Kuroo would mind–”

If  _ this _ is how Bokuto plans to play wing man–

“Whoops!” 

_ Thud _ . 

The sound of water trickles to the floor. 

“Oikawa!”

“Sorry, my hand slipped!”

“Is everything all right?” The host looks in their direction.

“He knocked over his glass.” Ushijima says, doing the damage control. “We apologise.”

“Daichi, would you be so sweet and help us get some more napkins?” Oikawa says, loudly. 

Kuroo sees his chance. 

“Kita-san, I’m ready, are you?”

Kita nods. 

Putting on the sunglasses and pulling his hood down even lower, Kuroo stands up. He lets Kita go first. Sawamura has already left the table, and he sees his back to him, walking away. 

Looking at the table and the people who were sitting behind him, Kuroo makes eye contact with Oikawa, who looks at him with wide eyes. Ushijima’s back is still to him, but next to Oikawa is Bokuto, who sits at the edge.

“Hey watch out!” Kuroo  _ accidentally _ bumps into Bokuto as he moves past their table. 

He mutters a harsh “ _ Sorry _ .”

“What’s with him?” Bokuto’s voice drifts away as he and Kita finally make it to the exit. 


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m back.” Oikawa calls. 

Kuroo groans, lying face down on his bed. 

“Kuroo?” Oikawa stands in the doorway, and he curses himself for forgetting to shut the door all the way.

“Leave me alone.” 

“No.”

The lights turn on and Oikawa stomps into his room. 

“Get up.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Kuroo, come on.”

“Oikawa, leave me alone.”

“Stop wallowing in your misery. You have class in less than one hour.”

“I leave fifteen minutes before it starts. That’s enough time to walk there.”

“Yeah, without eating breakfast or even washing your face. I hope you plan on brushing your teeth.” Oikawa tells him. “Stop moping and get up. Sawamura doesn’t even have class today, there is no way you will run into him.”

In the last three days, he has not seen or talked to Sawamura. 

Sawamura had messaged him a day ago asking if he wanted to stop by his apartment for dinner. Kuroo panicked and shut off his phone. 

It’s a little mean, but he still has to work out his feelings at Sawamura’s new relationship status. Apparently, the day after the restaurant incident, Terushima had asked Sawamura out again, and planned to go on a date this weekend. 

He also does not want to go to Sawamura’s apartment and see Bokuto, who he might just strangle. 

Instead, he hunts down Bokuto after his class. Bokuto sees him rushing his way with a cheery wave. “Hey hey hey! Kuroo!” Only to be dragged along until they walk to the very restaurant where the incident happened.

  
Kuroo doesn’t really want to be back here so soon, not with the memory of his recent romantic troubles so fresh in his mind, but Bokuto needs visuals to learn. 

“Treating me to lunch?” He asks, oblivious to Kuroo’s agony. 

“No. Sit down, and listen up.”

So Kuroo tells him, pointing to the two tables and describing what happened to Bokuto.

To his chagrin, Bokuto laughs. 

“That was you who bumped into me!”

“Some _friend_ you are. You can’t even tell who I am.” Kuroo growls and this time he can finally smack Bokuto on the arm. 

“Ouch! What’s with you?”

“I thought you were on my side.” He pouts, glaring at Bokuto.

Bokuto chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “So you really heard all of it?”

“ _All of it_.”

“That must have been difficult for you. How awkward.” 

“I can’t face Sawamura after hearing all of that.”

“Oh? Is that why you’re avoiding him?”

“I’m not _avoiding_ him-“

“You are definitely avoiding him.”

He sighs. “-I just need some time to think.”

“Think about what?” Bokuto picks up his spoon to start eating again. “Confessing?”

Kuroo cringes at how casual Bokuto makes it sound. “The truth is, I _can’t_. There’s too much at stake.”

“Haven’t you had these feelings for so long? What’s stopping you, it’s not like him and Terushima are serious.”

“Oikawa said they’re going on another date.”

“It’s just a date, Kuroo. They’re not going to start living with each other. They haven’t even known each other for long— you two have known each other for much longer.”

“That’s exactly why I can’t do anything reckless like spit out my feelings in front of him.”

“Why is it so hard?” Bokuto asks, confused. “You really like him, and you have a good relationship already.”

“That’s precisely why I can’t— we’re good friends, and even though I want to, I cherish our friendship and I’m afraid it will change if I tell him.”

Bokuto gives him a sympathetic look. “I don’t think Sawamura’s that cruel.” 

“It’s not just that, we still have jobs to look for and careers to plan. I don’t even know if he wants to continue to stay in Tokyo after we graduate.”

“Just talk to him. Stop thinking too much about things that are so far away.”

“It’s not that far away, Bokuto. We graduate at the same time.”

“That’s true, but you’re fine with everything except when it concerns Sawamura. You have a couple job offers already and you like the career you chose.”

“I know, but I-“

“Just talk to him.” His friend repeats. “You’re never going to know unless you ask.”

“Are we talking about confessing or if he’s planning to stay here?”

“Either, or both— whatever will make you happy, Kuroo.”

He lets out a deep sigh. 

“I’m just saying, why don’t you stop pretending you have those feelings and forcing yourself to act as friends?

“Are you saying I should be more direct?”

“Maybe, you could probably learn from Terushima that way.”

Karoo huffs, reminded of something. “On that note.” He flings his napkin at Bokuto. “What was with all the teasing the other night? I thought you were on my side!”

“I was just teasing.” Bokuto deflects the napkin easily, it was thrown weakly anyway, and laughs. “You know how fun it is to rile up _Daichi_.” He wiggles his brows and Kuroo feels heat rise to his face thinking about how cute Sawamura is when Kuroo gets on his nerves, all in good humour of course. Until they really manage to piss him off, then it’s borderline dangerous. 

He groans, letting his head fall into his hands again. “I can’t believe they’re going on _another_ date.”

Bokuto frowns, crossing his arms. “Is that what’s bothering you? You don’t want to confess, but you get jealous and defensive.” Then he rolls his eyes. “Well, of course you would, it’s Sawamura.”

He glares at his friend.

“Relax, it’s just another date. They’re not official, you still have a chance.”

“A chance?” This time, Kuroo runs a hand through his hair in frustration, and puts it back down on the table clenched in a fist. He says, defeated. “Didn’t you hear what he said about me– he doesn’t even consider me as someone he could like.” 

“What are you talking about? Sawamura likes you.”

“Yes, but he can’t like me in _that_ way.”

“He didn’t say anything about you.”

“I was listening the entire time, Bokuto. I’m pretty sure I know what was said. He didn’t say anything when you said he liked me– it must have been so awkward for him! You were talking about his personal life, no wonder he was uncomfortable.” He lets his head fall to the table. “ _Ushijima_ too. Who brings up someone’s sex life like that?”

“There you go again, being protective of him.” Bokuto says, with a roll of his eyes. Then he looks at him pointedly. “And what sex life?”

“You were teasing him throughout the entire conversation–” Kuroo feels horrible when he thinks about it. “I don’t even want to think about it– break my heart a bit more, will you?”

Bokuto blinks at him. 

“They didn’t have sex.” He says.

“What?” 

“Terushima asked Sawamura to listen to a CD with him at his apartment.”

_What._

“Ushijima just happened to run into them in the building, but that’s all.”

_That’s all._

“Sawamura didn’t even return home late that night.”

_Oh_.

Bokuto narrows his eyes at him. “Why do you look so happy?”

Kuroo should not be feeling so gleeful.

  
  


x

“Fancy seeing you here.” 

Kuroo shoots up straight from where he is sitting on a bench outside of his university department’s building. 

A shadow falls on Kuroo, blocking out the sun. He barely lifts his head for his eyes to meet deep brown ones. Usually, those eyes are full of warmth, but there’s a hint of irritation, and dare he think, worry in them right now. 

“ _Kuroo-san_.” Sawamura says.

“ _Sa’amura-san_.” He says, adopting a casual, playful tone. 

But Sawamura’s lips thin into a line, and the way his bottom lip juts out just a little makes Kuroo’s heart fill with endearment. He recognises a second too late that Sawamura is this close, and that he can clearly see every feature of his face. His face goes slack in awe of the man standing before him, his heart going into over-drive, and he can only hope that the look of love isn’t so apparent on his face. 

Luckily, or unluckily, Sawamura backs away just a little bit. He straightens himself, standing in front of Kuroo. “Hi.” He says plainly. 

“Hi.” He parrots. 

Sawamura frowns at that, tilting his head to one side and giving him an odd look. He looks torn between doing or saying something because the silence grows in awkwardness until finally, he says. “Are you avoiding me?”

“Am I what?” He asks, panic filling his body.

Biting his bottom lip, Sawamura gestures vaguely between them, and that’s when Kuroo realises. 

_He’s nervous_.

Kuroo stares at him. 

_But why?_

Sawamura’s eyes go to the ground. “Did I do something?” 

He blinks, confused. “Do what?”

Well, that seems to irritate him. “Why are you answering my questions with questions?”

“I– sorry, um–” He scrambles to think. “No. No, I’m not avoiding you. I’ve just been busy, that’s all. You know, school and work.” He tries to brush it off with laughter. “You didn’t do anything wrong, what makes you think that?”

“Well.” Sawamura pauses, narrowing his eyes at him, but in a second the look is gone and he shakes his head. “Nothing– nevermind.”

“Aw, did you miss me?” Kuroo can’t help but smirk. He’s really trying to redirect their conversation into familiar territory, grasping at their usual banter with desperation. “A few days without Kuroo Tetsurou in your life and you’re already hunting me down?”

“I have class here too. I just happened to see you, so I approached you. Who knows, maybe you were waiting for me all along?”

Great, they seem to be getting back to bantering, but the words are too much like reality for Kuroo. He stands up, trying to take some control of the situation even if it’s a mere addition in height. He towers above Sawamura, naturally, but he still can’t seem to look him in the eyes. 

So, he turns to the side and gestures towards the exit. 

“Well, since you’ve missed me so much, why don’t we get a drink to catch up?”

He starts walking, and feels relieved to hear that Sawamura follows right after him. 

“It’s only been a few days, who says I miss you?” Kuroo feels him walk right up to him, their arms brushing softly. He tenses, but luckily Sawamura doesn’t seem to notice. 

“Who doesn’t miss this?” He gestures to himself, facing him with a wicked grin. 

Rolling his eyes, Sawamura reaches out a hand to push lightly against the side of Kuroo’s head. His fingers thread into his hair briefly, and Kuroo barely has time to process the feeling before it’s gone. 

Sawamura walks ahead after that, walking briskly. Kuroo follows, touching the side of his head where it feels like it’s burning after Sawamura’s touch.


	4. Chapter 4

“So you do have two eyes.” Sawamura pushes Kuroo’s hair away from his face, exposing his forehead and his usually covered eye. His fingers are light, gentle even, and he examines his face with concern.

Kuroo  _ burns _ .

Sawamura shifts even closer, pressing the bag of ice and now damp cloth to his cheekbone.

Simply put, they had been walking together, and whilst entering the coffee shop, Kuroo shot out his arm to open the door for Sawamura (as a gentleman should) only to be smacked in the face by the door and a customer rushing on their way out.

“They didn’t even say sorry.” Sawamura curses under his breath, thanking the nice waitress who brings them another ice bag and cloth to keep Kuroo’s face from bruising.

Kuroo tells himself that Sawamura is only doing this because he is a  _ kind person _ , and that as friends, he has a responsibility to help Kuroo. 

That’s all that it is.

There’s no meaning to his gentleness— even if his touch lingers and even though Kuroo is completely capable of doing this himself— but he should be glad Sawamura cares enough to be so concerned for his well being.

“You really don’t have to.” Kuroo shifts in his seat. This close, Sawamura has one knee between his, their legs brushing ever so softly.

The space between Sawamura’s brow furrows, but he doesn’t pull away. “Don’t be stubborn.”

“I can hold it myself.” He says, voice just a bit higher because he realises he can count each of Sawamura’s lashes and it transports him to his fantasies too quickly. 

He wonders how it feels to kiss Sawamura. Sawamura’s fingers sliding into his hair, closing around the nape of his neck. Close enough that Kuroo can feel his lashes on his cheek as he shuts his eyes slowly, deepening the kiss—

“Kuroo.” 

It brings him to attention. Had he been staring too obvious?

He takes his hand, and Kuroo’s heart skips a beat, but Sawamura brings it to cover the cloth instead, replacing his hand. 

“Thanks.” He says, repositioning it comfortably. 

“I’ll order us the coffee.” Sawamura stands up. “Keep it in place, but don’t keep it on for too long.” He leaves, not even bothering to ask for Kuroo’s order because he already knows what he wants. 

Kuroo winces, but feels lucky that if any bruise forms, it will only be on his cheekbone and not his eye. He can already tell it has begun to swell by the way it throbs under the ice. 

It takes Sawamura a few minutes to return, and by then most of the ice has melted and he doesn’t need to use it anymore. To keep his hair out of his face, he tries to smooth it back, and it seems to work, but it still leaves a few untameable strands to dangle in front of his eye. 

Sawamura returns to the table with both their drinks, and for a second, Kuroo catches him staring at his face, especially his exposed eye.

“Is it that bad?” He smiles sarcastically.

Sawamura shakes his head. “You look different actually.” He responds, ever so honest. 

“I think a swollen face would change one’s appearance a bit.” 

He rolls his eyes— then to Kuroo’s surprise— he reaches out to press the tips of his fingers to Kuroo’s chin, tilting his head upwards and giving Sawamura a better look in the light. “It’s not that terrible.” He says, voice awfully serious. 

Stunned, Karoo gulps. Afraid to move.

Then, Sawamura smirks. “It would be an improvement.” 

He feels the laugh rise in him, and he covers his mouth before any of the customers or staff catch them in such a situation. 

Moving away and taking his seat across from Kuro, Sawamura chuckles lightly. 

“It’s really not that bad.” He reassures him, mirth in his eyes. 

  
  


x

  
  


“What happened to you?” Oikawa takes one glance at him and makes a face. 

“Sawamura.” He says, because it’s not exactly a lie.

“ _ What? _ ”

“I got distracted by his lovely eyes and walked right into the door as someone was rushing out of the shop.” Kuroo falls face first onto their couch, groaning in frustration. 

“Oh, um. Well.” His roommate for once has no words for him. Oh, he’s dumbfounded Oikawa. 

“Oikawa, how do you fall out of love?” He flips onto his back, letting out a deep exhale.

“Why are you asking?”

“Because of this.” He points to his heart, laying a hand on it and pressing down. “It  _ hurts _ .”

“I know. You’ve mentioned it. Many times.”

He groans again, getting up and heading for the bathroom.

“Are you going out?” Oikawa asks. He hasn’t moved from where he studies at the table, looking at Kuroo’s new change of clothes.

“Dinner.” He says, sitting by the door, tying his shoes.

“Where?”

“With Sawamura.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, good luck.”

“Thanks.”

  
  


x

  
  


“Good, you’re here on time.” Sawamura says, smiling as he lets Kuroo in.

And isn’t he a sight. 

In all of Kuroo’s dreams of domestic bliss, Sawamura in an apron knocks the breath out of him. 

What Sawamura doesn’t have to know is that Kuroo made sure to take the train that arrived at least ten minutes early so that he wouldn’t be late. That he was actually five minutes early, and had to pace around the front of the building to pass the time. 

Because Sawamura eats at specific times, in orderly fashion, and this time, he has prepared Kuroo’s favourite. 

It takes him by surprise. “What’s the occasion?” 

Sawamura takes off the apron and finishes setting the last dish on the table, taking his seat across from him. He looks sheepish as if he were caught in the act of something, but he tries to shrug it off. Scratching behind his ear, he looks off to the side bashfully. “We haven’t done this in a while. You know, with school and work— I know you’re busy— but since we were both free tonight, I, um, thought we could enjoy dinner together.”

“Ah.” His cheeks are warm, taking in all of Sawamura’s hard work. The food looks and smells  _ amazing. _ His mouth waters.

“And last time we watched a movie, and I chose it. So, it’s your turn this time, um, if you feel so inclined.”

Kuroo smirks. “You’ll let me choose anything?”

“We take turns for a reason. I can suffer through anything you chose.” Sawamura pouts. “Well, it’s not like your taste is bad, it’s just some choices are really  _ questionable _ —“

“You mean, cute, adorable rom coms are questionable?”

“They’re  _ cheesy _ .”

“Like your thriller detective movie was any better. My head is still spinning.”

“Well then, we suffer together.”

Kuroo smirks, but his smile softens when he sees the grin in Sawamura’s face.

“We suffer together.”

He catches Sawamura’s eyes and holds his gaze for a few moments. His smile is sweet, eyes warm, and Kuroo melts just a bit more.

Then Sawamura’s stomach rumbles (of course it would) and it throws Kuroo into a fit of laughter.

“ _ Enough already _ .” Sawamura urges, blushing in embarrassment. “Let’s eat.”

“Okay.” He says, stifling the last laugh. He admires the food once more, then looking up at Sawamura he says in appreciation. “Thank you for the food.”


	5. Chapter 5

Dinner was pleasant until Kuroo stopped controlling his brain-to-mouth filter. 

It’s been _on his mind_ that Sawamura and Terushima have a date this weekend.

_Meaning_ that he is constantly thinking about it, especially when it is completely dark in his room and he can only sigh as he tries to fall asleep while his mind tries to prepare himself for heartbreak. 

He still doesn’t know the exact nature of their relationship, or what Sawamura wants out of going out on these dates with Terushima, and his curiosity gets the best of him once he’s been offered one too many beers. 

After they eat, Sawamura asks if he wants to play games. He agrees because he has been wanting to beat Sawamura at a game for the longest time. He isn’t even that bad, but Sawamura is awfully good at this. 

Kuroo loses pitifully, and they turn on the TV to watch a random movie because neither of them have the energy to choose, and they spend the next two hours critiquing a terrible horror film. It’s so awful that by the time they have gotten used to the scares, they can guess what happens next because it sticks to the generic horror movie plot, they’re seated on the floor. He cracks a joke that makes Sawamura giggle, and he’s so _cute_ like that— cheeks red from the alcohol and so relaxed looking— and Kuroo, who is also quite drunk, forgets his nerves being so close to him. Their shoulders brush constantly and sometimes when he puts his hand down on the floor their fingers touch. 

They forget the movie, turning to one another to talk. Kuroo slides to the floor after Sawamura pinches his side because he can’t seem to stop teasing him throughout the night. He stretches out his body on the floor, turning to Sawamura and props one elbow up so that he can look at him.

Sawamura grins at him, teeth showing and eyes like crescent moons, and he realises he can stare at him forever. 

He is lucky to be in his presence, and that’s when it occurs to him that _yes_ , _maybe I can live like this._ If this is as close as he can get to Sawamura, he’ll accept it in a heartbeat. 

It’s what motivates him to ask. 

Sawamura’s laughter subsides, and a silence passes over them. It doesn’t feel awkward and he realises that it’s never been awakened between them. 

But if he chooses to confess and it changes everything… 

_He can’t be that cruel, can he?_

… Even if it does not work out, they can still be friends. 

_Right?_

They look at one another for a moment before Kuroo breaks the silence. 

“How is Terushima?”

Sawamura visibly pauses, eyes wide and surprised. “Terushima?” 

“I, um. I heard you have a date.”

“You heard?”

Kuroo feels no shame for exposing Oikawa. 

Sawamura’s mouth pulls into a frown and he shakes his head. “ _Always in my business_.” he says under his breath, irritated. 

“So how is it?”

The object of Kuroo’s affections stares at him as if he cannot believe they are having this conversation. 

“We went on a date. It was nice.” He answers with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“And this weekend? Conert, right?”

Sawamura frowns at that. “How do you know all the details?” It’s not really a question because they both know it’s Oikawa. He shakes his head with a roll of his eyes. “Nevermind.”

With a soft huff, Sawamura crosses his arms at Kuroo. “If you wanted to know, you could have just asked me in the first place. I know Oikawa is the gossip, but he does not talk unless prompted. Really, Kuroo, everyone is already teasing me about–”

He sits up, holding his hands up in defense. “I’m not trying to tease you or anything–” 

“Sure.” He still frowns, unimpressed. “So yes, we are going to a concert. _Thank you for asking_.” 

“Really, I don’t mean to–”

“Kuroo, can we please drop this topic right now?” Sawamura urges. 

Now that Sawamura sounds irritated at _him_ , it feels _terribly_ awkward. 

But the connection between his brain and mouth is not strong against his desire to find out. He wants to slap a hand over his mouth, but the words have already been said. “No, wait. Can I ask one more question?”

Sighing exasperatedly, Sawamura says. “Fine.” 

“Um, I was wondering. Well, why did you go out with him?”

Sawamura’s eyes narrow just slightly, and Kuroo feels like that was the wrong question. “ _Why?_ ”

He nods. 

Taking a moment to respond, he says. “Oh, well. Um, you know. I just—well, first— I was a little drunk.” The words come out with difficulty, like Sawamura really doesn’t want to talk about this. He gestures vaguely, but Kuroo raises a brow in confusion. Then he scoffs. “I also haven’t had much luck in this department.”

The last part makes him pauses. It almost sounds _bitter_. 

Kuroo doesn’t really understand how Sawamura could be so unlucky when it comes to his love life. In fact, as much as it pains him, Kuroo would argue that there are many people who would love to go out with Sawamura.

The brain-to-mouth filter is still malfunctioning, so he might say this, but then the front door opens and loud footsteps enter the apartment. 

“Oh! Something smells good!”

Bokuto stomps into the room with a grin on his face.

“Oh. Hi Kuroo.” Bokuto waves and barely looks at him. Kuroo has been to their apartment so often that it’s a normal occurrence. Bokuto walks to the table and seeing the food they did not eat yet, his mouth seems to visibly water and eyes shine hungrily. 

“We saved some for you.” Sawamura says, not even waiting for Bokuto to ask. 

Kuroo knows Sawamura takes care of people like this. He makes food, and he is really great at it, but he makes sure he saves extra, buys people snacks, has to remind even Kuroo to drink enough water–– and it’s so _Daichi_ to take care of people. 

Kuroo _wants_ that, but more than a friend. It makes his chest ache, and at least he knows it is smart to drop the topic for now. 

He makes eye contact with Sawamura, hoping to convey his sorry, and Sawamura looks back at him with resigned eyes. 

They know that Bokuto will join them in front of the TV in a little while. 

So, yes, it’s smart to continue this conversation later. 

  
_If_ they continue it.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
